When I wake up enough to see my shadow all I want to do is go back into my hiding place and sleep awhile longer. My shadow contains all those unlovely, unwanted parts of myself known so well to my friends and family yet mostly hidden from my own consciousness. When I wake up enough to see it, the voices in my head berate me.
"How could you be so stupid?! What were you thinking?!! What’s wrong with you?!!!"
It makes me want to hide and not show my face for awhile.
But deep soul work requires the recognition and embracing of our own shadows. The darkness we cast about when we live from a place of unconsciousness must be brought into the light of awareness and transformed.
My own darkness stems mostly from a fear of conflict, often bringing about the very conflict I’m trying to avoid. My self-talk goes something like, “Don’t say anything they won’t like; it will only cause conflict.” But unless I show up as my authentic self and speak my own truth, I have no place from which to build a bridge of peace. When I withhold my true self out of fear of severing a relationship, I have no way to make the deeper connection I so desperately want.
So the task is to find the light in the shadow. Our shadows lead us to wholeness and authenticity. Those little eruptions of ill humor and pain point us to what we need most.
This February 2nd, don’t be a groundhog. When your shadow frightens you, don’t go underground. When you see your shadow ask yourself, “What is this pointing to? What deep need is being expressed when I act this way? Where is the light?”
