That
image was still fresh in my mind when I went to the beach last week. It
made me even more aware than usual of the constantly changing nature of
the ocean. It can change from a glassy stillness to choppy and turbulent within a matter of minutes. So can we.
Have you ever noticed how one minute you can be perfectly at peace and the next minute you're all out of whack? What are the "winds" that stir you up? How do you get back to that "ocean of calm"?
It has taken me a lifetime to learn that "negative" emotions, like anger, fear or pain, are not something to overcome or avoid but rather something to embrace and experience fully. When we block the flow of human emotion it's like damming up a flowing stream. Without a "spillway" to release the pressure, eventually the water will either overflow its banks or burst the dam, destroying everything in its path.
Our emotions are gifts that guide us to the right path. Now, thanks to NVC, when I feel angry I have learned to ask myself, "What deep need of mine is not being met?" From that place of deepest need, for example a need for respect or acceptance, I might realize that what is truly needed is self-respect or self-acceptance. When I respect myself I can request what I need from someone else without feeling destroyed if they refuse my request. I can own my own emotional life rather than simply react to what others do or say. When I am able to make a request from that place of deep need, rather than out of anger, I am much more likely to be heard and received in a way that makes for peace.
Our emotions are like the surface of the ocean. They show us what is happening and when we are in or out of the flowing stream of love that guides our lives. Check in with your emotions from time to time. What are you feeling right now? Below the surface of your emotion lies a deep need. What is the deep need that is or is not being met? Isn't that need a beautiful thing? Isn't it something we all need?
Mimi Weaver
July 2007
|
|
 |
|
Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.
|
| adapted from - under a dark star |
|
