Your Authentic Self

"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde

Great quote, but how do you do that if you don't know who you are? Here is some of what I hear as I work with women in transition: 

"I don't even know who I am anymore!"

"Who am I now that my children have left the nest?"

"How do I relate to my parents now that they need me to take care of them?"

"Why is it so hard to connect with my husband? It's like we don't even know each other anymore."

"I want to leave this soul-draining job, but who am I without my work?"

"I'm afraid to find out who I am. What if there's nothing there but emptiness?"

Here's the good news: there is so much more to you than being someone's mother, daughter, wife, etc., – although those can be amazing and fulfilling roles in and of themselves. And here's the other good news: that "emptiness" may not be a bad thing. 

When we can drop the roles, especially our identification with them, and allow that inner emptiness to be filled with something greater than ourselves, there is no limit to what we can do or who we can be. 

Try focusing on who you would like to be, not in terms of role but in terms of characteristics, such as:

  • loving
  • peaceful
  • strong
  • patient
  • courageous 

Try it on for size...which feels better: "I am a (fill in the blank)" or "I am loving, peaceful and strong?"

Who are you?

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." --Marianne Williamson