It's Okay to Cry

Tears have a wisdom all their own. They come when a person has relaxed enough to let go and to work through his sorrow. They are the natural bleeding of an emotional wound, carrying the poison out of the system. Here lies the road to recovery.
— F. Alexander Magoun

It happens a lot... I'm working with a client and they start to cry. It surprises them, and it honors me. It tells me that they feel safe enough with me to relax and allow the healing to begin. 

Although healing is not the goal of coaching, it often occurs anyway. Most of us carry hurt places deep down inside and as the blocks to moving forward begin to dissolve, tears will flow.

For some it can be scary. Some think, "If I allow myself to cry, I will never stop." There is a fear of losing control. In my experience, no one has ever cried without stopping eventually.

Many of us have become masters at numbing the pain - distractions, addictions, busyness, cynicism, you name it - anything to keep from actually feeling what we're feeling.

I have been a master at this myself. And I have had times in my life when I've cried, sobbing, for a whole day, or while watching commercials on TV, or listening to music, or driving in the car, or even what felt like simply leaking teardrop by teardrop for an entire week. Life is full of sorrow as well as joy.

As I often tell my clients, you are not your feelings. Feelings are like the weather, and they change just as quickly. But if you swallow or numb your pain, it gets stuck and has no way to move through you. If you feel sad, allow yourself to grieve. It's okay. In fact, it's essential for your health and well-being.

Let your tears come. Let them water your soul.
— Eileen Mayhew